Say the Thing

SAY THE THING

A free script + mini course to help you say what you need to say, with less angst.

Say the Thing is designed to help you start an important conversation with confidence, integrity, and a clear head. Get started by watching this short intro video, and downloading the workbook.

Download the Workbook

Step-by-step videos: follow along with your workbook 👇

STEP ONE:

Connect

It helps to start the conversation by making a reach and finding a way to connect sincerely. Watch the video for more.

Duration: ~5 minutes

STEP TWO:

Own Your Feeling

This is where you’ll name how you feel, clearly and directly. Use "I" statements, and avoid the word "but." Watch the video for more.

Duration: ~4 minutes

STEP THREE:

Deeper Sharing

It can be really helpful to share something a bit deeper that they might not know about what’s going on, or why this matters to you. Watch the video for more.

Duration: ~4 minutes

STEP FOUR:

Ask for What You Want

This is where you’ll start moving toward a solution. Share what you want or need moving forward. Watch the video for more.

Duration: ~6 minutes

STEP FIVE:

Give Specific Examples

The clearer you can be about what you want or need, the better! Examples help fill in those gaps. Watch the video for more.

Duration: ~3 minutes

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Bonus Tips

I've said this in a few of the videos, but it bears repeating: they key to translating your plan into a smooth conversation is practice.

Whether it’s in the shower, on a walk, or whenever you have a few minutes alone, running through your conversation starter a few times out loud can help you settle into language that feels natural, and get the language into your body. It can also help ease your nerves, and remember your key points in the moment when those butterflies might kick in.

A few other pieces of parting wisdom, for your consideration:

Set expectations early

Don’t be afraid to ask directly for the chance to say what you need to say uninterrupted, if that’s what you need.

Release Control

We can’t control how others react to what we say. All we can do is approach these conversations using the timing, tone, mindset, and language that are in integrity for US.

Practice!

The more often you practice bringing up uncomfortable topics, the more you’ll build up that muscle! Repetition is your friend.

Trust Your Gut

Treat this framework as guidance, NOT hard-and-fast rules. Feel free to play with phrasing, or move things around a bit.